You will notice that there was considerable silence about the Barkha Dutt - Radia tapes controversy on this blog. That's because there's been a general silence on this blog.
That notwithstanding, Barkha Dutt made a big mistake she can't deny - she lied (either on the tapes or in her apology). So of course, it comes across that she was ready to mediate between the Congress and the DMK. And what is the best way to counter any kind of recorded evidence but to say, "I lied"?
At the same time, it does come across from NDTV's coverage (or the part that was in the debate anyway)that she was actually using the information to report news. So my take is that she, in all likelihood, WAS lying to Niira of many circles. (Radia, circles... - clever, huh?)
So now after Barkha's admission and general evidence that her role in cabinet selection was non-existent, the best Manu Joseph can come up with is, 'You didn't publish a story' and the eloquent, 'You're not answering the question!'
That is why children are told: "Don't tell lies." It generally creates all kinds of messes.
PS: Vir bad-teeth Sanghvi, on the other hand, should rename Counterpoint to Copy-Paste.
Showing posts with label Media Paranoia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Media Paranoia. Show all posts
Friday, December 3
Friday, September 24
Obama mentions 'India' in 'Name, Place, Animal, Thing'
My post that investigates the mind of the average Indian reporter on Faking News: Obama mentions 'India' in 'Name, Place, Animal, Thing'.
Tuesday, September 7
The Pressing Council of India
The following is a completely fictionalized account.
Once upon a time in the land of Indial, an exposé left many major media houses reeling. Letters were released showing how favourable opinion could be bought in exchange of an ‘official’ status costing a few crores. Many correlations were found between the intensity and the nature of newspaper reports and the awarding of contracts to a kinda-significant, large-ish gaming event of the time - the Uncommonwealth Games.
Left with no option (and being unable to tell correlation from causation), the media houses came together to save their profession and published a policy document, which is reproduced below:
In view of recent public outrage due to activities of leading newspapers like the Timers of Indial, Hindustani Timmies and the rest, we have decided to restructure some of our policies based on our guiding principles. We hope this will bring credibility back to the profession while keeping the gravitational pull on our money sacks undisturbed.
1. Transparency: Starting today, newspapers will be officially selling the official tag for events. Yes, now businesses and common people can have official papers for their tournaments, music shows, weddings and thread ceremonies.
In exchange, nice stuff will be written about the events and their officials (official officials?). This service comes in different packages of single article, editorial and all-out sucking up.
2. Honesty: To make it clearer to the undiscerning public, media companies who lose out on the 'official' race will now have to mention 'It sucks balls that we're not official' before writing anything negative about the event they lost out on. We feel that this is a step in the right direction for the world of advertorials and will also lead to a chuckle or two.
3. Truth and a little revenue: Advertisers will no longer be able to buy adspace in newspapers because there won't be any. In fact they will no longer be called advertisers, but ‘new editors’. The new-look newspaper will simply be filled with a large number of articles, as newspapers should be. If ‘editors’ write their opinion, are we not being truthful? We think so too. [Exception: Point 2 above].
Note: We have no intention of adding a ‘sponsored by…’ tag, as we believe we are well within the limits of our slogan without doing so.
4. Service: Since advertisements will no longer exist, even if companies are launching their products, they will have to come up with articles which will be reviewed and published for a small fee. Newspapers can even write some on behalf of the new editors. Please find enclosed with this document examples of articles. [1. Automobiles - 'Tartar Micro car saves the life of thousands'; 2. FMCG - 'Coldgates toothpaste proven to create uncontrollable pining in the opposite sex').
5. Technology: We will upgrade our website so that it no longer uses crappy text animation, MS Paint logos and frames (seriously, we still use frames). We promise.
As one of the pillars of democracy, it is our duty to pretend that we are responsible. Therefore we have spent time and money in issuing this circular. We are confident that these steps will help restore public opinion in our favour.
And if that doesn't work, we'll just have to use our influence to change it.
Oddly, something similar is starting up in the real word. Who’d have thunk?
Once upon a time in the land of Indial, an exposé left many major media houses reeling. Letters were released showing how favourable opinion could be bought in exchange of an ‘official’ status costing a few crores. Many correlations were found between the intensity and the nature of newspaper reports and the awarding of contracts to a kinda-significant, large-ish gaming event of the time - the Uncommonwealth Games.
Left with no option (and being unable to tell correlation from causation), the media houses came together to save their profession and published a policy document, which is reproduced below:
Joint circular by the Pressing Council of Indial
Guiding Principles: Transparency, Honesty, Truth and a little Revenue through Service and Technology
Slogan: Don’t be very evil
In view of recent public outrage due to activities of leading newspapers like the Timers of Indial, Hindustani Timmies and the rest, we have decided to restructure some of our policies based on our guiding principles. We hope this will bring credibility back to the profession while keeping the gravitational pull on our money sacks undisturbed.
1. Transparency: Starting today, newspapers will be officially selling the official tag for events. Yes, now businesses and common people can have official papers for their tournaments, music shows, weddings and thread ceremonies.
In exchange, nice stuff will be written about the events and their officials (official officials?). This service comes in different packages of single article, editorial and all-out sucking up.
2. Honesty: To make it clearer to the undiscerning public, media companies who lose out on the 'official' race will now have to mention 'It sucks balls that we're not official' before writing anything negative about the event they lost out on. We feel that this is a step in the right direction for the world of advertorials and will also lead to a chuckle or two.
3. Truth and a little revenue: Advertisers will no longer be able to buy adspace in newspapers because there won't be any. In fact they will no longer be called advertisers, but ‘new editors’. The new-look newspaper will simply be filled with a large number of articles, as newspapers should be. If ‘editors’ write their opinion, are we not being truthful? We think so too. [Exception: Point 2 above].
Note: We have no intention of adding a ‘sponsored by…’ tag, as we believe we are well within the limits of our slogan without doing so.
4. Service: Since advertisements will no longer exist, even if companies are launching their products, they will have to come up with articles which will be reviewed and published for a small fee. Newspapers can even write some on behalf of the new editors. Please find enclosed with this document examples of articles. [1. Automobiles - 'Tartar Micro car saves the life of thousands'; 2. FMCG - 'Coldgates toothpaste proven to create uncontrollable pining in the opposite sex').
5. Technology: We will upgrade our website so that it no longer uses crappy text animation, MS Paint logos and frames (seriously, we still use frames). We promise.
As one of the pillars of democracy, it is our duty to pretend that we are responsible. Therefore we have spent time and money in issuing this circular. We are confident that these steps will help restore public opinion in our favour.
And if that doesn't work, we'll just have to use our influence to change it.
Oddly, something similar is starting up in the real word. Who’d have thunk?
Wednesday, June 10
Indians reeling under a spate of racial attacks in Indian metros
After the recent racial attacks on Indians in Australia, Canada and never-never land, Indians are now being racially targeted in unexpected quarters - India's metros.
Earlier in the day, Chennai-ites were shocked to learn that Indians were flowing into Chennai like rasam in a plate of rice. One man, while self-immolating was heard shouting the slogan, "Who set me on fire" to the joy of the mob that had gathered around him. Upon hearing this, the Chief Minister immediately declared that babies born with non-Indian names would be given gold coins and made to cover up their nudity for this was a most non-Tamil state of being. At the time of going to press, a bill was being discussed to make curd rice the symbol of the Tamil movement.
In New Delhi, young boys teased young Indian girls, occasionally molesting or raping them in order to a lesson. Cops who stopped some of these offenders were immediately presented with a cellphone saying, "Lo baat kar lo". The code phrase led to a wide smile from the cops who immediately recognized the Dilli ka bandas and responded with, "Panchod." Later in the evening, Punjabis and Nepalis joined the Delhi-ites in a candle light vigil at the newly-rechristened Delhi Gate.
As the tension spread, Kolkata was slow to react since it was on strike for no apparent reason. As a result of general excitement, it had to call off the strike in order to protest the vast numbers of Indians coming in from non-Bangladeshi borders. "This is not true, we are never racist", Mr Banerjee said without provocation. "We are too slow to be racists. We will come last.", he said and giggled with glee bordering on insanity. Upon further enquiring, it was understood that he had attempted a joke. Sourav Ganguly further fuelled outrage among his fans by revealing that the Fake IPL Player was indeed an Indian.
Mumbai-ites were appalled after learning that most of the people in the city were Indians and that they were a minimum in their maximum city. As a stop-gap measure, they renamed their IPL team to 'Mumbai Mumbai-ites'. Also on the edge of the sea, tourists were treated to a newly-lit Gateway of Mumbai. A pro-Mumbai political party burned down cabs, shops, slums, trains, babies and pictures of the numeral zero claiming that these were Indian influences they didn't need. "The Marathi man has been suffering indignity for too long now", said Mr Bhamurdekar as he packed his bags to leave office at 3 PM. "I've been working hard, but these bhaiyyas are ruining Mumbai", he wistfully added as he stared at Mrs Godbole.
The policemen around the country seem to be helpless as they claim that their organization has been infiltrated by Indians. We will keep bringing you news as it happens. Stay tuned.
(c) Paranoid Indian Media
Earlier in the day, Chennai-ites were shocked to learn that Indians were flowing into Chennai like rasam in a plate of rice. One man, while self-immolating was heard shouting the slogan, "Who set me on fire" to the joy of the mob that had gathered around him. Upon hearing this, the Chief Minister immediately declared that babies born with non-Indian names would be given gold coins and made to cover up their nudity for this was a most non-Tamil state of being. At the time of going to press, a bill was being discussed to make curd rice the symbol of the Tamil movement.
In New Delhi, young boys teased young Indian girls, occasionally molesting or raping them in order to a lesson. Cops who stopped some of these offenders were immediately presented with a cellphone saying, "Lo baat kar lo". The code phrase led to a wide smile from the cops who immediately recognized the Dilli ka bandas and responded with, "Panchod." Later in the evening, Punjabis and Nepalis joined the Delhi-ites in a candle light vigil at the newly-rechristened Delhi Gate.
As the tension spread, Kolkata was slow to react since it was on strike for no apparent reason. As a result of general excitement, it had to call off the strike in order to protest the vast numbers of Indians coming in from non-Bangladeshi borders. "This is not true, we are never racist", Mr Banerjee said without provocation. "We are too slow to be racists. We will come last.", he said and giggled with glee bordering on insanity. Upon further enquiring, it was understood that he had attempted a joke. Sourav Ganguly further fuelled outrage among his fans by revealing that the Fake IPL Player was indeed an Indian.
Mumbai-ites were appalled after learning that most of the people in the city were Indians and that they were a minimum in their maximum city. As a stop-gap measure, they renamed their IPL team to 'Mumbai Mumbai-ites'. Also on the edge of the sea, tourists were treated to a newly-lit Gateway of Mumbai. A pro-Mumbai political party burned down cabs, shops, slums, trains, babies and pictures of the numeral zero claiming that these were Indian influences they didn't need. "The Marathi man has been suffering indignity for too long now", said Mr Bhamurdekar as he packed his bags to leave office at 3 PM. "I've been working hard, but these bhaiyyas are ruining Mumbai", he wistfully added as he stared at Mrs Godbole.
The policemen around the country seem to be helpless as they claim that their organization has been infiltrated by Indians. We will keep bringing you news as it happens. Stay tuned.
(c) Paranoid Indian Media
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