Local hogging, global warming, awesome headlining

According to recent research, a journalist who sounds suspiciously like a former Indian cricketer, tells us that shahi paneer is worse than chicken in terms of detrimental effect to global warming. And rice is supposedly quite terrible too. All in this in a fascinating piece titled "Eat chapati, give up mutton, to save the earth." A quote:

Consumed in quantities producing the same amount of energy, wheat is eight times less damaging to the climate than rice and 52 times less than mutton, says the report, which has not been published yet.

Wait - what? It hasn't been published yet? Ah, that explains the notable omission of my Christmas meal day before yesterday, which contributed much more to methane emissions than all the food items mentioned in the article. And I'm not even talking about what went into producing the food.

Man, I'm disgusting.

P.S: While the above headline was good, it was not nearly as good as what is probably the headline of the year: After sex sting, AP governor Tiwari ejects prematurely. Hats off to ToI.

PJ's for the weekend

1.
'Mama, mama. These chips taste like bacon!'
'That's because they ARE bacon flavoured, sweetie!'
'Oh, that's wonderful, mama! I love them!'
'Me too, honey!'

2.
Why did the cops give Sehwag all their guns when he started to leave?
Because when he gets going, you must surrender to Virender.

Angry and naked

So what do you do when you're 23, angry and run out of laundry? Why, hijack a bus, of course! Looks like some teenagers are going to have early sex-ed classes.

Day 11 - IPL 2

What a team! No hype, no expensive buys, no fake bloggers, no bling - all heart. It's hard to not support the Rajasthan Royals. Last year they were the underdog before the tournament started. This year, 4 matches into the tournament they became the underdog. One hopes that today's match changes their fortunes.

How one loves this team and their story: a seasoned skipper backing his young guns from India to take them to victory. Last time they won it was a young fast bowler called Kamran Khan whose face had to be held between Warne's palms because he couldn't stop smiling. This time Yusuf Pathan with a 30-ball unbeaten 62 took someone with Vettori's experience to the cleaners and blotted the Delhi Daredevils' all-win record.

Sure DD batted badly, the boundaries were small, but when a team with low confidence is 5 down for 64 with a run rate of over 8 required you sometimes take the result for granted.

The IPL is nicely set up now. Mumbai stands at no. 3, but I wonder if it will manage to get into the semis, I hope they do, but don't know if they have the fire power to do it. C'mon Chennai, you can come back! It's great though, the only teams who seem to be sure of where they're heading are KKR and RCB.

This cricket match is what IPL is all about. I just wish they cut down on the fluff: commentators forcing themselves to say how crowded the stadium is, Lalit Modi stops his lame moves of signing autographs with a camera following him. We really don't need that. Just focus on the cricket. And the cheerleaders maybe.

God, please let me be Superman. Ok, at least give me the power to fly. X-Ray vision? Anything?

From Hindustan Times:

A ballerina, Spiderman, a vet, a train driver and sometimes even a sea lion: these are the jobs that toddlers see themselves in when they grow up.

Kate Castine, an adviser to Australia's department of education, isn't happy about this and wants four-year-olds to be more serious about their career options.

C'mon Ms. Castine! What's wrong with four-year-olds wanting to be Spiderman when they grow up? Till the age of ten I prayed every night to be Superman. I also convinced the prayee that I would use my powers real justly - no naughty X-Ray vision stuff. And I turned out just fine. By day I'm a disgruntled employee, and by night I write a weirdish blog.

Shit.

'Obama steps out in jeans and sneakers in hometown'

Useless information of the day from DNA: Obama steps out in jeans and sneakers in hometown.

Tomorrow - Obama thinks that the color magenta is slightly overrated.

Stayin' alive

Amitabh Bachchan wants to stay alive. Who's da Big Bee Gee!

The side effects of unemployment

Don't look at me, I didn't report it.

Cascading pointlessness

This is just sad on so many levels, it's not funny.

Consider this: first, a bunch of people hold a 'world's ugliest dog' contest. They get media to cover that event . Then, the ugliest dog dies. And the media covers that. And then, a blogger writes about that 'news' article. [update: and 921 people 'digged' it]When will it stop?

Oh, and while on breaking news about freak dogs, read this.

Planning to cheat on your spouse?

Here is some valuable advice from the Times of India. Good luck.

Small brains, big heart

There is some poetic antithesis in the first two lines of this piece from IBN Live:

The more you drink, the more your brain shrinks, scientists have said. Many studies have shown that moderate alcohol consumption can be good for heart health.

Essentially what this means is that is what is good for the heart isn't necessarily good for the head. But then we, already knew that didn't we? How many of us have fallen in love? To all us big-hearted fellows, cheers mes amis!

Useless information of the day

From DNA India:

Sachin buys old bungalow for Rs 39 cr.

Life goes on.

Useless information of the day

From DNA India:

Are CEOs with left-parted hair more successful?

Go figure.

Useless info of the day

From IBN:

Leggy women are less likely to develop memory problems, with every extra inch of leg reducing the risk of Alzheimer by 16 per cent, suggests a study.

From DNA India:

The Indian Premier League (IPL) is all set to scrap the $five million cap on the players' salaries from next season onwards, a move that could see top cricketers earn as much as a whopping $15 million (Rs 61 crore approx).

Being neither a cricketer, nor a leggy woman; things look bleak. I brave the winds of useless information and soldier on.