Joke

Employee: Boss, I can't work till 11 PM every day and on weekends. My wife is pregnant six months and there is no one else to take care of her.

Boss: (Pensive pause) Hmm. I see. That's a problem. No, it's not. It's a challenge. 'Problem' is such a negative word. We can overcome all challenges, and this one is no different. Here's the solution. Call your parents and ask them to stay with you. Risks will be mitigated, schedules will be unaffected and defects will be minimised. You need to be proactive in your approach, take ownership. When we own our challenges... (indecipherable rant)

Hahahahahahahaha. Ok, not that funny, I know. But actually happened in a work place last week. Maybe something Sunil or someone could pick up on for their next comic?

Day 27 - IPL 2

It's the first time in the history of the IPL that the Royal Challengers are living up to their team name. What a show beating Chennai and staying in the hunt to get to the semis! As a dozen people crowded around a PC at the office hoping for some of the Dhoni luck to rub off on their team, I had only one thought: "We're toast if Taylor is still there at the end." And toast we were. CSK is now more dependent on Hayden than India were on Tendulkar in the mid-90's - and that's a lot of dependence. Doesn't bode well for the team, even thought they've been winning. Hope they prove me wrong.

Then followed the best match of the IPL so far, even better than the super over one, given the state of the tournament.

Speaking of Sachin Tendulkar, today we saw a master stroke by the Mumbai think tank. "Why open with Sanath and Sachin?", they thought. "Why not make them bat when three wickets are down, the required run rate is ridiculously higher and most of the middle order has melted away?" And it was with this iron-clad philosophy that Mumbai almost muffed up a gettable target. Sachin came it at no 5, Duminy at 6 and Jayasuriya at 4. The supposedly injured Shane Warne was bowling beautifully and ended up with 3 wickets. It was his passion again that seemed to be egging the Rajasthan Royals on. (Was he playing despite the injury, or was he never injured? Can someone fill me in on this?) And then came Abhishek Nayar. Aur usne kya maara na-yaar! An unbelievable blitz of 35 pushed Mumbai right to the brink of victory, but KKR flu was in the air. Nayar got stumped. Only 6 runs were required from 8 balls. But the Royals prevailed after an unbelievable last over from Munaf Patel with two run outs. And that difference of two runs means that Mumbai move a step away from the semi-finals and the Royals, a step closer. What a match - so many twists, and the Royals win yet another very tight game - they have the gumption to do this over and over. Will that be the rush they need to defend their title? The next week shall reveal all!

And guess what, SRK's having a really bad time of late - his team plays with the IQ of Mandira Bedi , his cheerleaders couldn't perform in South Africa and it turns out that that Bollywood role for which those women were selected during the games is all hogwash. They're not going to be in any movie-shovie. Go figure!

Pietersen attributes India's ODI success to IPL

KP says:

India are taking one-day cricket to a different level. Have you seen the way they are playing in New Zealand? Then compare that to what we did out there last year.

This is an interesting read. While there may be an element of truth to the statement, it somehow doesn't quite add up. For example, how does that explain India getting thrashed in the T20s in NZ? Sehwag has always been a force to reckon with as far as strike rate and dominance is concerned, how much would one season of IPL have changed that? Sachin didn't play the IPL and hardly plays T20s. They've been instrumental in the ODI wins.

On the lighter side, it seems to be a veiled plea to the ECB to not hinder the participation of English players in the IPL. It's like me justifying to my manager why an onsite stint would be good for business.

Spin twins

There's nothing funny about the Satyam episode if you're an employee of the company. As an ex-employee, my heart goes out to all my ex-colleagues and friends still employed with Satyam. You are in our prayers.

PFB blogpost FYI

The Onion reports:

James Atkins attained complete mastery over the fine art of meaningless corporate doublespeak.

Read the full 'news' item - Manager Achieves Full Mastery Of Pointless Managerial Jargon, it's hilarious.

Previous posts on work:

• Little Red Riding Hood, my boss' version
• The advantages of seeing your boss more than your wife

Little Red Riding Hood, my boss' version

Fyi, I would now, manage your expectations on a strategic resource's growth story. This is, essentially, about a resource called Little Red Riding Hood. The same walks through the woods to reach out to her grandmother to ensure a successful delivery of food to the above mentioned.

At the end of the day, a wolf wants to utilize the resource but is afraid from the public point of view. He touches base with the same, and she naïvely gives him visibility on her roadmap. He drives the resource to pick more of some flowers, which she does. At that point in time, he leverages the longer time frame to go to the grandmother's house and takes ownership by role-playing to be the resource. He swallows the grandmother whole at the earliest, and holds on for the girl, disguised as the grandmother to engage the resource. When the resources touches down, he utilizes her whole too. A hunter, however, comes into the loop and cuts the wolf open to resolve the issue.

Little Red Riding Hood and her grandmother emerge unharmed from the eating perspective. They fill the wolf's body with roadblocks, which phase him out.

--------------------------

Sent from my BlackBerry Handheld.

Ok enough frustration release, back to work now.

The advantages of seeing your boss more than your wife

1. You don't have to answer dishonestly to trick questions ("Is there too much salt in the food", "Am I looking fat?")
2. Performance anxiety is much lower (or at least less visible)
3. You can always excuse yourself from a meeting.
4. Your chances of promotion increase (depends on 'how' you look at your boss)
5. You get a chance to miss your wife.

Geez... I need a life.