Song #3: Not suitable for work or children. Enjoy!
Showing posts with label Sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sex. Show all posts
Thursday, August 9
Wednesday, June 2
The straight, single Indian man and Bipasha Basu's boobage
I am a straight Indian man, lucky enough to have a great wife who loves me. But I know numerous other dudes who have recently been finding the going a little tough. They are constantly being maligned by the women of my country. So today I write a plea on their behalf.
Dear Indian woman, why do you snub us so? Is it because we don't make outlandish gestures such as this when we want to marry you? Anyone can organize a bunch of dancers, but if you asked that guy, he would agree that much more courage is required in getting his parents to talk to her parents. And let's face it, if you were that chick in the park, you would have said, "I need to ask my grandmother" instead of saying yes. Imagine the embarrassment you would have faced. Moreover, if it was close to Valentine's day, we would just be putting you in mortal danger with a bunch of sena / sene 's hovering in the area. We care more about your life than some stupid romantic gesture. We are practical like that.
Or do you snub us because we have small penises? (Note: here I can speak only of averages). But really now, it's not the size, it's how you use it (and it wasn't even us who came up with that line). And boy, do we USE it. After the Chinese, we have the most documented success with it. First we practice alone for years. Then when the time comes, we don't use it selfishly only to please the parties involved, but the results of our efforts please our uncles, aunts, distant cousins, passed on ancestors and parents - on both sides. That's got to count for something, right? And all this culture compliance in a matter of minutes. You'd be a fool to label these qualities as shortcomings. In the traditional sense of the word anyway.
If your complaint is about our moobs, let us explain. We make the sacrifice of cultivating those because we want you to experience pleasures from both sides of the fence. So many qualities in one partner that you never feel like you are missing something. We are the only men who actually give up our bodies for their women. Why mock us for something so benevolent?
So why do you snub us? Especially Indian women like Sania Mirza who goes off to marry a Pakistani cricketer when India has so many mooby ones of its own? And Bipasha Basu whose first topless appearance in an ad was for New York Lotto. Seriously, what's up with that? Why not for Gujarat tourism? What is wrong with honest, vegetarian, teetotaling businessmen? Or you could have lent your boobage to the campaign for 'God's own country'. The foreigners would have come flooding for Ayurvedic massages of all kinds. You could have helped your country. But no, you chose to reveal in an ad for the lottery of a city which already has a TV series that equates its name with the act of sex. Good job Bips. You're going to stand out like hay in a haystack.
Therefore dear women of India, I urge you to be a little more understanding. There are many eligible single Indian men out there, and not all of them are only interested in your fraandship. Seek and you shall find a wonderful man whose flaws you can look past. Our hope be with you.
(Proposal and NY Lotto ad links from Gautam John's Twitter feed which really has much more interesting stuff than this post suggests.)
Dear Indian woman, why do you snub us so? Is it because we don't make outlandish gestures such as this when we want to marry you? Anyone can organize a bunch of dancers, but if you asked that guy, he would agree that much more courage is required in getting his parents to talk to her parents. And let's face it, if you were that chick in the park, you would have said, "I need to ask my grandmother" instead of saying yes. Imagine the embarrassment you would have faced. Moreover, if it was close to Valentine's day, we would just be putting you in mortal danger with a bunch of sena / sene 's hovering in the area. We care more about your life than some stupid romantic gesture. We are practical like that.
Or do you snub us because we have small penises? (Note: here I can speak only of averages). But really now, it's not the size, it's how you use it (and it wasn't even us who came up with that line). And boy, do we USE it. After the Chinese, we have the most documented success with it. First we practice alone for years. Then when the time comes, we don't use it selfishly only to please the parties involved, but the results of our efforts please our uncles, aunts, distant cousins, passed on ancestors and parents - on both sides. That's got to count for something, right? And all this culture compliance in a matter of minutes. You'd be a fool to label these qualities as shortcomings. In the traditional sense of the word anyway.
If your complaint is about our moobs, let us explain. We make the sacrifice of cultivating those because we want you to experience pleasures from both sides of the fence. So many qualities in one partner that you never feel like you are missing something. We are the only men who actually give up our bodies for their women. Why mock us for something so benevolent?
So why do you snub us? Especially Indian women like Sania Mirza who goes off to marry a Pakistani cricketer when India has so many mooby ones of its own? And Bipasha Basu whose first topless appearance in an ad was for New York Lotto. Seriously, what's up with that? Why not for Gujarat tourism? What is wrong with honest, vegetarian, teetotaling businessmen? Or you could have lent your boobage to the campaign for 'God's own country'. The foreigners would have come flooding for Ayurvedic massages of all kinds. You could have helped your country. But no, you chose to reveal in an ad for the lottery of a city which already has a TV series that equates its name with the act of sex. Good job Bips. You're going to stand out like hay in a haystack.
Therefore dear women of India, I urge you to be a little more understanding. There are many eligible single Indian men out there, and not all of them are only interested in your fraandship. Seek and you shall find a wonderful man whose flaws you can look past. Our hope be with you.
(Proposal and NY Lotto ad links from Gautam John's Twitter feed which really has much more interesting stuff than this post suggests.)
Sunday, November 1
Final destination. Err... almost.
So after some dillying and much dallying, the wife and I have arrived in the Netherlands. There was much consternation on the way here what with me misplacing my documents and losing access to my Forex card pin, all of which I had neatly placed in the file of 'most important documents'. This file I promptly left at the Chennai airport, making the 'safe file' the single most foolhardy concentration of risk in my life.
In the weeks leading upto the trip, I was convinced many times that I was not supposed to arrive here. A-la the 'final destination' series, the signs were there all over the place. An autorickshaw driver almost getting me killed by going the wrong way on a one-way flyover, the Lufthansa person at the counter asking me to lose the luggage to arrive at the right weight, the attorneys screwing up my visa application, and upon arrival a coin being swallowed by a hungry phone machine when I tried to call the driver who hadn't arrived were just some of the events that had me convinced that this was not meant to be. Heck, every time there was a little turbulence, I found myself thinking, "This is it." However, wonder of wonders I have arrived to new experiences and challenges.
First impressions. Autumn is on. (View outside my house)
This place could sure use some of the Chennai sun. Heck, even 1% should do the trick. I was admonished by some of my friends here when I turned the heating in my home up to 26 degrees. They complained that my house was an oven and visiting us made their baby sick. And here I was thinking that 26 was cool, prime weather. Need to get the Chennai out of me very quickly.
Second impressions, there was most excellent girl-girl action at the airport arrival, and there are numerous porn channels on TV and nudie books on sale at the supermarkets. Yes, yes, there may be a lot more to experience in this country, but what to do, my mind is like this only. Also, people are generally cordial and everyone seems to have a dishwasher. Whether these two facts are related, I do not know.
Thanks to friends' advice, so far I have discovered gorgeous stroopwaffels and an awesome Italian place with the most indulgeous ham, egg and cheese pizza you could ever imagine. I intend to try the cumin cheese some time which, I'm told, rocks. Also, I have been warned of the perils of walking on what are dedicated 'cycling paths'. (There are no hawkers on the pavements!) I know, how stupid, right? I mean, you just cycle anywhere you want where I come from, and we fear not death, because travelling by any mode of transport is dangerous enough.
So anyway, I have now somewhat settled down and I will be kind enough to provide my reader(s) with some more of the entertainment that they have suffered from in the past. Heck, maybe I might even be regular. Who knows? It's a brave, new world.
In the weeks leading upto the trip, I was convinced many times that I was not supposed to arrive here. A-la the 'final destination' series, the signs were there all over the place. An autorickshaw driver almost getting me killed by going the wrong way on a one-way flyover, the Lufthansa person at the counter asking me to lose the luggage to arrive at the right weight, the attorneys screwing up my visa application, and upon arrival a coin being swallowed by a hungry phone machine when I tried to call the driver who hadn't arrived were just some of the events that had me convinced that this was not meant to be. Heck, every time there was a little turbulence, I found myself thinking, "This is it." However, wonder of wonders I have arrived to new experiences and challenges.
First impressions. Autumn is on. (View outside my house)
This place could sure use some of the Chennai sun. Heck, even 1% should do the trick. I was admonished by some of my friends here when I turned the heating in my home up to 26 degrees. They complained that my house was an oven and visiting us made their baby sick. And here I was thinking that 26 was cool, prime weather. Need to get the Chennai out of me very quickly.
Second impressions, there was most excellent girl-girl action at the airport arrival, and there are numerous porn channels on TV and nudie books on sale at the supermarkets. Yes, yes, there may be a lot more to experience in this country, but what to do, my mind is like this only. Also, people are generally cordial and everyone seems to have a dishwasher. Whether these two facts are related, I do not know.
Thanks to friends' advice, so far I have discovered gorgeous stroopwaffels and an awesome Italian place with the most indulgeous ham, egg and cheese pizza you could ever imagine. I intend to try the cumin cheese some time which, I'm told, rocks. Also, I have been warned of the perils of walking on what are dedicated 'cycling paths'. (There are no hawkers on the pavements!) I know, how stupid, right? I mean, you just cycle anywhere you want where I come from, and we fear not death, because travelling by any mode of transport is dangerous enough.
So anyway, I have now somewhat settled down and I will be kind enough to provide my reader(s) with some more of the entertainment that they have suffered from in the past. Heck, maybe I might even be regular. Who knows? It's a brave, new world.
Saturday, May 16
China's sex theme park
China has built the world's first sex theme park.Wow, a park AND sex-related content! Our radicals would have a field day with this. Though I'm sure a theme park of this kind would get a better reception than a Valentine's Day theme park.
Saturday, February 14
A 13 year old father!
This is just unbelievable! Brit dad is 13, mum is 15 and politicians are outraged. And take a look at this quote:
Asked what he will do financially, (the father) Alfie replies: "What's financially?"Well, at least it would be the smallest generation gap in existence.
Saturday, February 7
Tuesday, December 16
Monday, January 21
Italy is not India
How is Italy different from India, I mused? We use our hands for eating, they use their hands for speaking, we like cricket, they like football. There are also some claring differences like the one mentioned below:
How, na?
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