Surprise - the birthday story

So it was the wife's birthday and the creative cycle of surprising, gifting and getting drunk was in action this week.

It was only the second third birthday since marriage, but already I seem to be running low on surprise-stock. My original 'surprise-at-midnight-with-a-cake-and-gift' masterstroke seems to have been expected this time. The 'cook-and-don't-let-her-enter-the-kitchen' idea is also slightly jaded, especially since my cooking form is lukewarm right now. No that it requires much form to heat packaged food packets. Also embarassing questions like 'Darling do you know where the salt is?' or 'Is it all right to add eggs to an omlette?' end up negating the whole out-of-kitchen experience. The cuteness of a lost husband in kitchen has a much shorter lifespan than the cuteness of a baby, I can assure you.

Another innovation this year was my attempt to crowd the house with known faces from morning to evening. That went down well, considering the wife usually tends to mope around the time of her birthday what with the advent of old age and all, imperciptible really in my eyes (brownie point - score!). And finally, to firmly establish that I'm running out of ideas, I even went the corny way of getting flowers and a card with large hearts on it. I had to suffer scanning through cards that likened love to trees, gardens and an assorted range of flowers to finally find something that wouldn't induce puke.

And after the packaged pasta was cooked and consumed, after the 25 million phone calls were answered and the winter coat that didn't fit was unwrapped, the age old non-surprising act of celebrating with food and alcohol was carried out with much aplomb. Alcohol, as they say, is the answer - whatever the question. The company was good, the Bacardis stiff and there might even have been some inebriated guitar playing and singing by me. 'Twas the stuff hangovers are made of.

Anyway, happy birthday to the wife. Apart from my usual brilliance, I did the wise thing and avoided talking about age all day and like last year I wished her yet another happy 19th birthday. My brownie point count is at an all time high - somebody stop me.