Local hogging, global warming, awesome headlining

According to recent research, a journalist who sounds suspiciously like a former Indian cricketer, tells us that shahi paneer is worse than chicken in terms of detrimental effect to global warming. And rice is supposedly quite terrible too. All in this in a fascinating piece titled "Eat chapati, give up mutton, to save the earth." A quote:

Consumed in quantities producing the same amount of energy, wheat is eight times less damaging to the climate than rice and 52 times less than mutton, says the report, which has not been published yet.

Wait - what? It hasn't been published yet? Ah, that explains the notable omission of my Christmas meal day before yesterday, which contributed much more to methane emissions than all the food items mentioned in the article. And I'm not even talking about what went into producing the food.

Man, I'm disgusting.

P.S: While the above headline was good, it was not nearly as good as what is probably the headline of the year: After sex sting, AP governor Tiwari ejects prematurely. Hats off to ToI.